Body image

I wanted to talk about this topic today because this issue has recently resurfaced. I think I can easily say that 90% of the people that I meet are at times not happy with how they look or how they wish to look like someone else. This leads to drastic measures such as going on crazy diets and crazy workout routines to starving oneself and some go under the knife to achieve that perfection that is drawn up in their mind. 

There are days where I feel the same way too. To be very frank, I've gone through this phase and it lead me to starving myself and working out like crazy. I did lose a lot of weight and the scary part was that I felt good about it. Problem was that everyone around me didnt think of my achievement as a good thing (well of course not...I was practically starving myself and would only resort to eating oats and nuts and when I'm really hungry I'll eat a piece of fruit or a slice of bread) This was a very confusing stage in my life and it all started because I was bullied.

I was bullied by my own family members about being fat. About how I can devour everything and how I would put on so much weight. I am 5ft and weigh about 54kg at that time. My BMI was at an optimum state and my weight has never fluctuated apart from my usual range of 49-56kg. So technically I was ok before I went through that phase in my life. 

What got me into making such a drastic decision was the fact that I was constantly hackled by certain family members of mine on my weight. Imagine how confused I was at that time. Being made fun by the very people who were suppose to "love me for me". It was during one of their 'joke' time where I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to just stop eating. 

I devised a plan where I would lose a certain amount of weight in 6 months and it revolved around the bad stuff which was practically starving myself and exercising like crazy. 

During the first week of my new plan, those family members of mine didnt believe me and thought I was just being foolish. I was foolish, I dont deny that. But at that moment, I was extremely determined and had the urge to prove to them that I was going to get it done and they would regret ever making fun of me. 

After about 2 weeks into my plan, I saw an extreme change. I did lose my fats and I was smaller compared to the previous 2 weeks. I felt like it was an amazing accomplishment. But in my blindness, I was starting to make the people around me worried. I remember my fencing coach coming up to me to ask me if I was feeling alright after our usual training session. I told her I had a small flu (which I did at that time) and it was nothing she should worry about. 

After 3 months, I lost more fat and gained a fitter body due to all the exercises I put my body through. after the 4th month I dropped 2 sizes and scarily I was happy. After the 5th month (and after constant nagging from my family members. yes including those who bullied me), my family members thought it was time they stopped me from achieving my goal. (like an intervention hahaha)

Eventually I did lose the excess body fat and am able to maintain the current size that I am now (although I do fluctuate here and there) but I think this IS NOT the way to lose weight. I think if you wanna lose weight its because of you and you alone, Not because you feel like you have to prove to someone that you can do it. Because if you do that, if you let someone or anyone influence you like that you will be living in constant fear of not being perfect and not being able to accept yourself as you are. 

My mother was always "skinny" and I have never ever been "skinny". I have always been the 'curvy' one in the family and the fattest one too. And I struggle with the constant battle between wanting to be happy and wanting to please everyone and myself and achieve that slim figure. But what is life if I cant enjoy the simple things ?

Is it wrong that I love my body the way it is? Is it wrong that I would rather chose waffles and takoyaki over a granola bar nowadays? Is it wrong that I accept my body as it is and work on improving it on my own terms? Why must I constantly be bullied even to this day regarding my body issues? 

I think I have every right to decide what I wanna look like and how I wanna feel because I am the one who is living in this body and I plan on treating it well and make me happy. and so do you!

So in light of this current situation of mine, because apparently it resurfaced during dinner...and I was a bit bitchier and bolder than before (6 years ago I would've just given in) I have decided that : 

1) yes. I am gonna work out and all that jazz..BUT IN MY OWN TERMS AND MY OWN WAYS AND MY OWN ACHIEVEMENTS

2) eat more stuff with higher health benefits.

3) control my demonic cravings.

4) drink lots of water 

5) appreciate what God already gave me. because I have been blessed with everything a girl would need in life and I am not gonna let what others say about me affect me so much and just try not to give a ffff. 

and so what if I wanna eat nasi lemak, takoyaki, have waffles and ice cream after that? 

xx,

Sarah

p.s : accept yourself.

Down with the flu

I spent the whole day at the mall today. Like literally the WHOLE day. from 10 am to 10 pm. Its funny though...cause its fasting month (meaning I dont eat or drink during the day for a month) the fams and i spent the whole day there. We did some shopping and then watched 2 movies back to back. We watched Jurassic world & Terminator genisys. Sadly, I started feeling sick and couldnt really concentrate on the whole movie. So now I'm bound to the bed and have to drink lots of vitamin C. *mama's orders.

On another note, thought I'd share what I'm currently reading. (I know, its been ages since I last picked up a book) I'm finally gonna scratch Cloud Atlas of my list. I did finish up Murakami's Colourless life of Tsukuru Tazaki and his years of pilgrimage months and months ago. But I havent done a blogpost about that book yet. I'll definitely write up about it soon.

I guess thats all for now. I need to rest this weak body of mine and watch some Big Bang Theory TEEHEE 

Xx,

Sarah

End of semester || finals, food and freedom?

So its been a month since I last uploaded. and as the title suggests, I've completed my semester! *applause* hahaha to be completely honest with you... I actually don't know yet if I am gonna graduate this year or the next year because I may or may not have flopped my design class. *le sigh* 

On the bright side of things, I now have more time to chill out and focus on my design and maybe try out some new things like finally taking up a language class in uni and go into self-defense class. 

I was upset at first, like come on, imagine you have to repeat the WHOLE semester and repeat every single project again as well as the constant all-nighters. But after awhile and after talking it out, I'm ok about it. I don't mind i suppose. As long as I get to learn and graduate with knowledge rather than I graduate and know nothing. 

Let's just hope and pray that I when the new semester comes, I'm more relaxed, more mature, braver than before and that my time management is 'ON FLEEK' LOL. yeah?? ok no. hahahaha but thats it for now~

Xx,

Sarah

What have I been up to?

So, its been a few weeks since my last post. As always, the workload and stress levels are at an all time high. I've a couple of weeks left and things are starting to sort of feel like last semester.

The pressure of not being able to perform is getting to me and the worry of the future also makes me feel as though I could pass out at any moment (okay exaggerating here) but what I'm really trying to say is....WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED TO MY SEMESTER?? Well, things aren't AS bad as last semester..however, it is very much similar in terms of design wise. like my design keeps changing and I'm starting to deliberately skip out on crit sessions because I have nothing to show them...because I failed to deliver what they want to see. I'd like to think that I planned out my work properly....I'm still working on it though but I'm very much diligent and I work hard. I'd like to believe I work smart too...but how do you define as working smart??

Yeah...as you can see, I am constantly struggling between juggling my time management. I do think I have improved much more compared to before. but I still fail to work on getting things done, bit by bit. Also putting off certain assignments or errands till the last minute. 

Its not easy admitting this. But I think time management IS my problem here. I am working on this. I stick to a mental goal in my head and abiding by it. like getting to bed at a certain time and waking up at a certain time. Also, working and setting a goal when I work. It helps get everything sort of organised. So yeah, I don't think I'm a complete time-management flop anymore. But I still need to learn to allocate the right amount of time between sleep>work>play and design.

Can I do this??? I have no choice but to strive and work hard! *YEAH!* hahaha

Anyway, this post kinda deviated from what I initial wanted to write about...but yeah, I'm basically working on my final project and I have a thesis presentation to prepare for...

WISH ME LUCK!

Xx,

Sarah

Its not kitty playtime

I just finished a round of playing chase, 'hand under the blanket' and catch the rope with my cat, Zoey.  What I can say is that...its not kitty playtime if my cat doesn't draw blood from my hand hahaha

In all, cats are just misunderstood creatures that show the exact same amount of affection as dogs do. Its just that there's a special connection between a cat and the human that can only be felt by the cat and said human.

hahaha Anyways, I didn't write this blog to talk about cats. (can you tell, i'm a cat-lover??)

So, I've been meaning to write about a project my friends and I are working on. (its part of our studies actually)

We have come up with a t-shirt line called, Conteng Studio (pronounced as : "chon-teng") that specialises in hand-drawn shirts. Its part of our class project and it would be so awesome if you, my beloved reader, would do me the honour of buying a shirt and help us with our class project!

So far we have 4 designs :

check our instagram and Facebook to see get updates from our collection! :D

That's it from me today! Have a great weekend ahead! 

Xx, 

Sarah

Theatre night! : Baik punya cilok

Hola! Its good to be back writing to you! apologies for being M.I.A the past month...I was caught up with design class and the stress that comes along with it.

HOWEVER, tonight! (currently 12.15 am here in Malaysia), I am not going to talk about that. I am going to talk about what I did last Friday night! (see..I have a life outside the studio pfffttt)

Iqbal, Amal, Naz & I went to Istana Budaya to watch a musical theatre directed by Afdlin Shauki titled "Baik Punya Cilok". Originally, this musical was a film and the same actors and directors recreated it into a musical theatre. (honestly...I've never watched the film before so it was my first time watching the story)

I wouldn't wanna spoil the show for anyone, so I'll just briefly describe what was the show about.

So, the story revolves around a group of 5 friends (Aben, Wak, Bob, Jerry and Leman) who plan on robbing a pawnshop owned by 'Uncle Wong' in order to recover Wak's grandma's diamond jade brooch. All in all it was a hilarious show and I couldn't stop laughing. I really enjoyed it.

After the show, Naz & I decided to wait in line and meet the actors in person. I was so determined that Naz and I eventually ended up in the front row and was engulfed by a sea of fanatic fans.

I had a really good time that night and I was so glad I finally got out of the studio! Some tips though, if you're planning on going to watch a show in Istana Budaya. 

1) dress appropriately. the theatre attendants won't hesitate to not allow you in if you walk in with flip flops. (unless you're going to KLPAC, flip flops, jeans, T-shirts, shorts and mini skirts are a big no no in Istana Budaya)

2) arrive 30 mins earlier because you need to enter 15 minutes before show starts. (they are very punctual)

3) have dinner before the show. its a 2 hour plus long show. 

4) drink water before the show and during intermission. Don't bring in water. you'll get caught!

5) Buy water earlier and leave it in your car or bag. don't even think about buying at the refreshment counter. 

5) toilet before the show. Duh.

6) can get pretty chilly so bring a cardigan, scarf or a shawl. *no hoodies*

7) no phones during show. or else they'll shoot you with a green laser like a sniper

8) ENJOY THE SHOW!

I guess thats all for tonight. Im getting sleepy and I have a run tomorrow morning *assuming i wake up....* and tons of work to do ;D

Xx,

Sarah

Sleep is for the weak. WRONG!

          As I sit here in the humid studio, listening to the sounds of Ain and Remy playing chess, I am troubled by the thought of dying due to lack of sleep.

This all started from a post shared on Facebook regarding an indonesian lady whom passed away due to lack of sleep. This story was shared I think about a year ago? but resurfaced as another news was shared by Naz in our WhatsApp group.

Made me realise how fragile humans are and wonder whether the 24 hour studio culture practiced by most architecture schools (that I know of, that is) is a healthy option.

I won't deny that 24 hours can be a really useful thing, especially when we're faced with a deadline. However, after our crit session, often times I find myself crashing till the next morning and not get any of my other assignments done. Not just that, some of my studio mates don't even appear for class the next day!

Apart from that, I've probably gotten sick more often this semester than the rest from staying the studio for too long. The environment (dust, unwashed dishes, trash etc) and lack of ventilation creates a breeding ground for all sorts of diseases...BUT, I still seem to have the need to work in the studio because somehow it is the only place where I know I can get most of my work done.

So...is the 24 hour sleepless studio culture a good thing??

To me, I guess there are some pros and cons to it. However, I do think that I (personally) should have a schedule and STICK TO IT! Get a consistent sleep and work routine so that I get the most out of my day and be productive.

No point trying to stay awake and waste my time watching vine videos *Jerome, I love your videos*

Anyways, Im gonna head down and sleep in the surau. I believe I should start a healthy lifestyle. atleast, healthy enough to not make me die from exhaustion or something....

*on a happier tone, I went bowling and won 6th place! :P

Xx,

Sarah

Sarah Travel Diary : Morning Hike up Broga Hills

This morning marks the 1st day of the 11th Architectural Festival organised by the 2nd year students, archiShock. There were about 40 of us and we hiked up Broga Hills in Semenyih. It was my first time there and definitely an amazing place to experience the sunrise.

We drove to Broga Hills at about 4.30 am and arrived at 5am. It was already crowded when we reached the entrance. 

After warming up and briefing from the students, we started our journey up Broga Hill. It was an easy climb up and it took all of us about 1 hour to reach to the top.

At about 6 am, we reached the 1st peak. It got crowded so we decided to carry on to the next peak for morning prayer. It was absolutely beautiful up there that we spent a longer time taking photos instead of going up the final peak.

Aina, Shamyl and I then went on to the final peak and got to see the whole view of the 3 peaks

At about 9.30 am, we headed back down and went straight to FM mamak for breakfast. 

Since it was my first time up Broga, I was definitely not disappointed by the magnificent sunrise and the beauty of the hills. However, It was crowded up there as we went on a weekend and there were a few places where other people had played loud music and kinda spoiled the ambience of the place. It was a really easy hike up but was a bit tricky going down as it was rocky and was steep. Felt like I was the yellow ranger from power rangers....(if you get what Im trying to say....) 

Thats it for now, will update more on the upcoming Festsena event :D 

Xx,

Sarah

Cerita Semalam : A wedding in Rawang

Last weekend, we drove up to Rawang for our senior's wedding reception. It was a crazy and interesting day that I just felt that I needed to share it with the world~

We left for Rawang at about 1.30 pm (after wrapping the wedding gift, refuelling and buying snacks for the 1 hour 30 minute journey). We followed our senior, Abang Erwan to Rawang thinking that he knew where he was going. After going about 1 hour, we were nowhere near Rawang. Eventually we decided to go separately and we finally made it to Pali's wedding reception after 2 hours of driving.

After the wedding, Yan, Aina, Nurul & I decided to go visit Sekeping Serendah, a vacation spot designed by one of my favourite landscape architect, Seksan.

While we were on our way to Sekeping, we met our 1st year lecturer. After chatting for a bit, we carried on towards Sekeping. 

Once we arrived, the security there wasn't too friendly and at first wanted us to leave. I had to tell them that I was on my way to meet my family and that my lecturer, was actually my dad in order to get in. They showed us to my fake father's house where my fake mother (my lecturer's wife) was busy cooking. 

After about 10 mins going around their hotel place, we headed back to Subang to have dinner at Jibby & co.

Travel Diary : Site visit to Melaka

Hi! I know its been awhile since I last updated. Recently I just recovered from a really bad cough and had various project submissions the past weeks. In fact, I just got back from a site visit a few days.

Our project this semester is located in Melaka. We are to design a boutique hotel and currently in the process of analysing our site. I wasn't sure what I should've labeled this blog post to be...but here it goes anyways!

Day 1 : 12.3.2014 KL to Melaka

We left for Melaka at about 9.30 am on Thursday and arrived in Melaka at about 11.30 pm. Since we were still early to check into our hotel, we went to visit our site which is situated exactly opposite of the famous Kampung Morten.

We were briefed by our lecturer about the site and about our project when we noticed a few people inspecting a demolished building (or what remains of the building) 

After some small talk, we found out that the remains of the building was in fact a piece of history. It was once a church that was built during the Portuguese invasion of Melaka. It was known as St Lawrence Church. Not much that I can talk about the church, however, it is now under the protection of the national heritage act. 

What was interesting is that, in the site of the ruins, there are 2 graves. 1 of the graves still had the tombstone perfectly intact and was known as Emerici de Souza. The tombstone was written in Portuguese so I think thats who was written on the tombstone. 

So after exploring the site, we decided to walk over to Kampung Morten and enter Villa Sentosa, a living museum. It is home to the descendent of the founder of Kampung Morten. 

At about 1.30 pm, we headed to Jonker street, Melaka where we stayed in Layang-Layang Guest house. 

After checking in, we had lunch at Jonker 88 and then went to visit Cheng Ho Museum. 

Foo, Hafiz & Iqbal

other days were spent collecting data and going for seafood (which I didn't take..sorryyyyy)

Pancakes and coffee at Daily Fix Cafe

Sunset at Umbai

Quayside hotel! 

Studio archiDOD 

Nurul did a video of our trip. Feel free to watch it and see the rest of the places we went when we were in Melaka ! :D Melaka trip 

thats all for now !

Xx,

Sarah