Hi! I'm Sarah and welcome to Doodledee.Doodledum-a place where I fill it up with my thoughts, experiences and just my (sort of) daily adventures. Today I feel like sharing a very important story that made me learn about the importance of friendship, virtue, patience, controlling your anger and finally...independence.
I'm gonna be frank here, those who know me, do know that I can be difficult at times. I am hot headed, a total arrogant snob and a complete bitch when I'm cranky. I got attitude and I know how to use it. But one thing about me is that I absolutely value friendship, hate fighting, hate turning into that bitchy arrogant snob and I know where my limits are when I get pissed. (even though I will blow up and complain a lot). Apart from that, I'm also a person that does what I say and when it comes to work, I do my absolute best to be as diligent as possible. (of course there are a few set backs, hey...i'm not perfect).
Today however, I was tested. I won't get into the details as it is a private matter. Long story short, is that I got into a bit of an argument with a friend of mine and we were getting pretty snappy. Personally, I don't see where my fault is. Thats just my point of view but thats just biased for me to say. Maybe I had offended her as well by asking her things she wasn't prepared to answer. Things, that well, I think (and a part of me is screaming at how I'm right and justifying how right I am) are ridiculously simple to do yet was not done. But we shall ignore her for now...as I am trying to be neutral-Sarah in this story I'm telling.
So, as I was saying, because of this little spat, I felt so many emotions. I felt hateful, bitter, annoyed and of course I was angry. At that moment, I just had to let it out to someone (which I eventually did, because if I didn't, I would be an old bitter hag by now) to justify why I think I'm right and why I shouldn't be the one apologising. I was about to whip out my phone and dial up my parent's and my bf's number when a thought popped in my head.
Why is it that every time something bad happens to me (in this case me getting annoyed/pissed beyond belief) I always run to the ones I love and complain to them? For justification of my actions? Why is it that I have to justify, even to myself, that I am not the one at fault here? I know I'm not wrong. But why must I need a 'support' ? Why cant I just be independent and stick to my opinion and not feel the need to justify why I'm bloody right?
Yes, we all need to feel that we are right sometimes by justifying our actions to others. And I'm a prime example at doing so towards my parents, my bf and anyone whose willing to listen. Is it because I just have the need to gossip about it? And that actually deep down I am hurt and in need of some consolation. Because I'm too afraid to admit that I did a mistake too? Well, to be honest. Yes I am hurt. Yes I do need some consolation. and when I think about it, I do believe that I must have wronged her as well.
Even so, that doesn't give anyone any reason to blow up. (And this is my 3rd time editing that phrase to erase all the emotions I had this morning that are still lingering on and making things very negative.)
In conclusion, to this 'rant' of mine. The lesson I learnt today is that :
1)I need to learn to be more independent.
2)Don't let what other people say bother me.
3)Don't be too emotional
4)Don't give a f*ck anymore. (gotta mind my language...there are under 18's lurking around here)
And with that we can be joyful people. hahahaha
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said,
"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength,
but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger"
-Narrated by Abu Huraira R.A
Thats all folks,
Xx,
Sarah
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