Today while I was watching a Coldplay video on youtube, I had an epiphany.
I realised that during my growing up phase (which i would consider as after high school) I somehow let my dreams and aspirations die. How does a Coldplay video relate to the realisation of the death of my dreams and aspirations, you ask? well...watching a bunch of people singing and having the time of their lives and living their dreams is envious. Absolutely envious. I don't dream of being a singer (though..I do admit there was a point in my life where I thought I had the voice of a song bird. HAHA) BUT, just in general the thought of living your dreams is just something I personally struggle with. I've always wanted to be a photographer, writer AND actress. But I never pursued it because I admit, my parents told me not to (the acting part) and because I didn't know where to start or what to do. I had a passion but I didn't have an outlet or platform to showcase it. And I suppose self-doubt and the constant fear of not being good enough played a role in this as well.
If only I had been a little bit gutsier instead of living in constant fear of what others thought of me. If only I had been a little bit more stubborn and went on to developing my passion. If only I had done these things back in high school. If only....
Then I suppose I would be a little bit happier. I would be a little bit more satisfied.
Don't get me wrong, dear reader. I love what I have in my life now. I love all the people I've met. I love who I have become. I just wished I had not given up that part of my life because of fear. And what I would like to say to you, dear reader, who is reading this post right now (whether you stumbled across my blogpost by accident or clicked on it because I shared it on my Facebook and Twitter)...I hope you don't let your dreams die like I did. I hope you keep your passion alive and I hope you put effort in making it grow.
Because at the end of the day, this life is short and we should be allowed to live our dreams and be happy.
I think this would be the most honest blogpost I've ever written and I think I would be sharing more of these because I feel like this might be able to help me improve myself and overcome my fear of being judged and shamed. Haha...please be nice to me in your comments (if you have any comments, that is) haha... :P
Until next time,
Sarah
